Tuesday, September 12, 2006




"When will I be a good journalist," my boyfriend asks. I offer him words of wisdom.

A toliet paper company ran through campus, accrued all this product, no replenishing. Tools got taken from the back of Ian's van that were needed for a field trip he was leading. We'd parked in Harmony. Someone said it looked like his parents.


"I think we look like each other," DK says to me. We'd been hanging out together all day. "We're both bored by relationship."

"Yeah," I say. "I don't end up being who I really am with you, or doing the things I really like and want to with you."

"Like what?"

"I like cooking," I say, "movies, going for a hike..." I list off a lot of things, ignoring the fact that we have done a few of these things on occassion.

"Well, how are things with DB?"


"Is he okay with this arrangement?"

"He doesn't want to find out," I say. We're downtown, stolling past McNeill's. He says something to suggest that I go back to DB instead of hanging out with him. Quit him altogether. I'm agreeable. "OK," I say. In hindsight, I also realize he could have really been asking we still keep it between ourselves.. not sure about it now...

"You like that sweater," I ask. He's wearing my striped mohair sweater that I'd taken off earlier.

"Yeah, it's growing on me."

"That's great," I say, "because I'd taken it off earlier wishing that I could give it to someone because I didn't want it anymore--and I thought of you."

"Thanks," he says.

We got back to his truck. I want to take all my things out of it.

"ALL your things?" He's a little hurt, like I was moving out or something.

"Yeah..." I am going straight to work after hanging out with him. I needd everything with me. I had been talking about DB while walking with him.

"I just feel really comfortable with him," I had said, "We can be goofy together--he's really sweet..."

DK gets into his truck, baacked it up and parked in some alleyway. It's a tight fit, and he can barely squeeze it out from between the buildings. He gives up half-way and gets out.

Lana's sister is visiting from out of town. She doesn't speak English well. She asks if I'd remembered when she visited here last year. Of course. She needs help with keeping her headband up in her hair. DK suggests fixing it with steelwool, which works.

I get to the store at 5:30. Andrew's about to close up and is relieved that I'm there. Ann's been working to cover for me too... it's busy. There's a customer I don't care about who stands around trying to make conversation with me. I try to shove him off by making work for myself, and other related excuses. He's persistent, though.

Both my co-workers are tired and relieved when they see me.

"Don't worry," I say. "You'll probably see the reward in the raises and bonuses you get, whereas I probably won't get anything, as usual."

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

elsewhere on the Internet this exists...



my boyfriend made rabbit ears behind Bernie Sanders as he was stumping in the Harmony Parking Lot. The Sanders posse didn't dig it and forcibly removed him from the grounds


riding the underground rails until I'm numb to where I'm going, or what I've left behind


an old high school chum visits me after a long time apart. She got the biggest engagement ring


I've come across a Native tribal council--they are chanting a song I'm familiar with, so I stay to listen. Then one accusses another of stepping on his robes, and tries to make him buy the robes as payment. I turn on a TV via remote to tune them out, which everyone knows is really rude...

Sunday, September 03, 2006

we took turns breaking into tears



Bounmy, Phosy & Phady all bought me a cabin. They're going back to Florida. I had come over to say goodbye. And I broke into tears because of their generosity.

"Where is it," I asked. I was shown a Polaroid of one of them on the steps, sitting with Santa Claus. I'm so touched. They really wanted me to have my own house.


DK asks me what kind of protection I've been using. We just had unprotected sex.




I am looking for ways beside the same old writing it down that I can do "for art" --- something like this...



I was in a self-imposed poetry retreat in a little shack in the middle of a wooded swampland that's full of alligators. There's also a resident lion. They all only came out at night. My shack had no door, so any one of the animals could have entered. But only the lion ever did.

Once, a group of people walked by in the dark. I called out to them. I asked them where they are going. I hurried to join their group before I lost them to the dark.

"Why are you walking with us," one of them asked. I told them about the gators.

"I could never walk alone or far in the dark," I said.


DB's in same office building I'm in. He's working a though Wednesday. I visited him throughout the day. The receptionist at the bottom of the stairs paged me to tell us that DB & "friends" (whom he'd been anticipating) were due to arrive in two weeks. They must have just called... Kate Casa in a big headline story in The Reformer... she was exposed in some employer mismanagement of her restaurant. Some disgruntled employee thing... I told DB.

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He could have broken down in tears.